Survival Exercise

Discussion in 'Barracks' started by sniper, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. sniper

    sniper Active Member

    The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a
    survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic
    exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down
    into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and
    cook.

    Night falls...

    First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and
    crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes,
    followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark
    silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly
    between the eyes.

    "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.

    Next up - the Para 's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves
    with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods,
    screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring
    with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar
    bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the
    charred remains of a rabbit.

    "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.

    Lastly, in go the Coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling
    Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken
    by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango
    Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an
    eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

    "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous
    trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you
    five hours ago!".

    So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and
    turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are
    awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in
    bruises, one eye nearly shut. "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now
    seriously irate trainer.

    The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:

    "Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
     
  2. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    I wish to quote this for the truth :> and I still feel sorry for that squirrel
     
  3. sniper

    sniper Active Member

    I'll vouch that is exactly what they would do. The rabbit was probably shot with an anti tank weapon. They couldn't of called in the RAF for a bombing run because it was after 4.30 and as everyone knows the RAF go home at that time. As for not including the marines, well there was no tarmac and bunting up for the band to march on to see them off.

    Sniper
     
  4. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    The RAF also requires bunting and delicate little sandwiches with lashings of ginger bear....
     

Share This Page