Line book!

Discussion in 'Barracks' started by morse1001, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Assault figures

    Hi Kitty,
    You forgot the one where the Americans decided to retake an island in the Pacific.
    They bombed hell out of it for two weeks.
    When their navy closed in they laid down a blanket barrage for two days after which they dropped airborne troops inland to soften up the defenders.
    A boat assault was then launched with a tremendous covering fire.
    The island was completely retaken after two weeks at a cost of only 310 men.
    Japanese casualities were nil they had left three months previously.
  2. spidge

    spidge Active Member

    Sounds like Kiska Keith.

    Kiska Island

    Main article: Operation Cottage
    On August 7, 1943, an invasion force of 34,426 Allied troops landed on Kiska. Castner's Cutthroats were part of the force, but the invasion force was made up of units primarily from the United States 7th Infantry Division. The invasion force also included about 5,300 Canadians. The Canadians primarily came from the 13th Canadian Infantry Brigade of the 6th Canadian Infantry Division. The Canadian forces also included the Canadian component of the First Special Service Force, also known as the "Devil's Brigade".
    The invasion force landed only to find the island abandoned. Under the cover of fog, the Japanese had successfully removed their troops on July 28 without the Allies noticing. The Army Air Force had been bombing abandoned positions for more than a week. On the day before the withdrawal, vessels of the United States Navy fought the inconclusive and possibly meaningless Battle of the Pips 80 miles to the west.
    While the Japanese were gone before the invasion of Kiska was launched, Allied casualties during the operation nevertheless numbered 313. All of these casualties were the result of friendly fire, booby traps set out by the Japanese, disease, or frostbite. As was the case with Attu, Kiska offered an extremely hostile environment.
  3. John

    John Active Member

    Gee, the last 2 posts are almost unbelievable aren't they. I bet there was some bum kicking went on from the big brass
  4. spidge

    spidge Active Member

  5. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Dead Duck

    Came into my mail box today,
    hope you like it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    sounds like our vets: daylight robbery. :D
  7. John

    John Active Member

    Great joke Keith.
    When is your operation due ??
  8. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Great Joke

    Hi John,
    My op is nearly two months old.
    I'm begining to wonder which was worse.
    The problem or the cure !!!!!!!!
    However as everyone keeps telling me "it's early days yet"
    So I live in hope that everything will settle down.
    There are still movements in my left that are painful.
    My physio nurse says its quite normal.
    I could go on, but it tends to become boring.
    In any case how are you now, Can you feed yourself,, do your own buttons and recite all your tables you were taught at school.
    Just kidding, hope you are fully recovered.

  9. John

    John Active Member

    Hi Keith,
    Sorry mate, I seem to be a bit behind dont I. Glad you are recovering well.
    I am going okay but have been told that they didn't get all the cancer. The sorest part of the ops has been my leg where they took the skin from. It is still raw and hurts like hell as the nerves repair themselfs
  10. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Combined Ops.

    Hi John,
    Sorry mate, I didn't realise how bad your op was.
    AIl can say is, that from what you say, it can only get better, it certainly can not get worse.
    If any good can come out of our little jibe, it is that you have made me realise how minor my op was and to stop grumbling.
    I hope your leg gets better each day and it becomes more comfortable as time passes, if so I know you will have a fantastic Christmas with all this behind you.
    I am sure all your friends in the forum feel the same way.


  11. Keith

    Keith New Member

    The female myths concerning childbirth.

    Hi all,

    There probably is no male forum member who has been spared the martyrdom cranked out by the female of the species in relation to the agonies of giving birth.
    You men are lucky etc. etc.

    Well I'm here to put this myth to rest.

    It's easy for any man wishing to do so to experience this falacy regarding the pain and suffering etc.

    First stand upright in front of a mirror.
    Set your feet slightly apart and fimly on the floor.
    Relax your face.
    Now grasp each side of your upper lip fimly between the thumb and forefinger of each hand.
    Relax your body.
    Now firmly pull your upper lip upwards and over till it reaches the back of your head.


  12. spidge

    spidge Active Member

    Well done Keith.

    I still have nail scars on my face from my second daughters birth:baby:
  13. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    and at the same time drive red hot nails through your kidneys. :D
  14. Jerome

    Jerome Member

    Nice one Keith. Also never ever say to a mother, mere hours after childbirth - "Gee you look awful" - Kitty's red hot nails to the kidneys is like nothing compared to the abuse you shall suffer for all eternity - and a day.
  15. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Pangs and aftermath of childbirt

    Keeping near the same subject.
    It is a proven fact that once in every millenium there will be a child born that far outshines all others.
    This child will be gifted in every way.
    Far brighter than any other.
    Will be so far in front of all other children it will be immediately obvious to everyone who has the honour of being near, that here is a truly gifted child.
    It will without any doubt progress through the phases of recognition, speech, walking with scant assistance from any adult.
    It will of course also be gifted far greater than any other in beauty and with a smile for all who come near.
    There is absolutely no doubt this infant will be destined for greatness.
    Any mother will tell you, its her child.


  16. spidge

    spidge Active Member

    My mother told me that the next one would be born in 2052!:lol:
  17. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Mother and child

    All good traits in a child are what it inherits from its mother, we are told.
    Anything it does wrong is defined as "just like your father"


  18. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    She was wrong, it was 1979 :humble:
  19. Keith

    Keith New Member

    Get your priorities right

    It had been a quiet day in the sleepy Cheshire village.
    Towards the end of trading people were finishing banking their days takings in the local bank when in burst a bank robber with gun and balaclava helmet.
    He walked up to the counter and demanded the money from the safe.
    " If you don't get it quick for me I will shoot one of the customers, if you try any funny tricks I will shoot the manager, so no alarms or phone calls out.
    Everyone was very nervous, and the staff quickly filled a bag with the days deposits.
    As the robber was leaving the bank manager vaulted the counter and pulled off the gunmans balaclava mask. The gunman shot him through the head. He turned round and seeing a cashier had been watching shot him too.
    Then he screamed" Right, anyone else seen my face" no replies came, but just as he was leaving a small man in the queue said " I think my wife seen it" pointing to a massive woman in the corner.


  20. Kitty

    Kitty New Member

    Man walks into a bar....

    Should have looked where he was going. :>

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