Drafting Guys over 60

Discussion in 'Barracks' started by David Layne, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. David Layne

    David Layne Active Member

    New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:
    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns.. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head..

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
    You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
     
  2. Antipodean Andy

    Antipodean Andy New Member

    You're even scaring me, DL! :lol:
     
  3. John

    John Active Member

    Gee David can I join. Would need to be near a power point during the fighting for my oxygen machine.
    :please:
     
  4. David Layne

    David Layne Active Member



    Would that be something to do with "air force?"
     
  5. John

    John Active Member

    Good thinking David. I get to sit down and use the plane's oxygen. Where do I sign up for the Airforce
    :plane:
     
  6. Golden Wattle

    Golden Wattle New Member

    Quote: "Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser".

    The above is sooo true.
    The only drawback, we would probably forget to load our weapons.
    We could always "bore the bad guys to death" with our war stories.
    I remeber when I was 17, There was this corporal, meanest Mongrel/SOB/Bastard around, he would.....................Fill in your story.

    GW;)
     
  7. Jerome

    Jerome Member

    Since mobility is gonna be a problem here, and zimmer frames now come equipped with wheels - slap on some kevlar, add a couple of 30 cals .... presto, a lean, mean, cranky machine.
    The Scooter Store has quite a stock, so requisition a ton of them, add a couple of TOW tubes or a 81mm mortar tube - gives "shoot & scoot" a whole new meaning.
     
  8. Kyt

    Kyt Άρης

    Sorry David but this is ooooold news - the Pentagon have been secretly arming the OAPs for ages :D

    YouTube - Old woman shoots MP40 Machine gun

    All one needs is a few MGs on this beauty

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Golden Wattle

    Golden Wattle New Member

    Shoot him in the Toodles?
    My God, she is mean.:fear:
    Send her to Afghanistan.

    I do luv the mech wheelchair.
    GW:
     
  10. Heidi

    Heidi New Member

    Qiute right G/W.

    Send her to Afhanistan in the war machine wheel chair,they might even bow down to her.
     

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